Saturday, January 10, 2009

A New Day!

I am feeling much better today!
A good friend gave me some great advice. He said nothing is worth wanting to commit suicide. You know, even though I was really down and I mean down, it helped me to hear those words. So, if you know a loved one or your down yourself, remember those words!

I laid and just cried last night. The tears just kept coming. I felt like a little baby curled up into a fetal position. All I wanted to was for someone to hold me. I basically held myself. If you were to ask me what was wrong, I could not have given you an answer! I was just so deep into doom. I took a Seroquel and went to bed early.

This morning I got up at 5 AM! I feel great! The mood is gone and I made it! Sure, I cried like a child, but you know what I didn't cut on my arms, drink, or try to kill myself. To me, that is great!

When you are Bipolar, and you get depressed, for some reason the first thing that you think of is suicide. I don't know why, but your pain inside is so unbearable that your mind just stops. Your in agony! I hope that someone who experiences the same things as I do, will comment and let us know what you go through! I hope you all have a great day.

5 comments:

FluxApex said...

I am so happy to hear you are feeling better. I actually worry about you. You are a great person and you are needed in the world wether people know it or not. I havn't hurt myself, but I have been reall close to many people who were cutters and burners and it has never helped them. It will never releive the pain and depression you go through. I am depressed right now, but I want to keep living. I have no reason to go on living, but I want to. I don't need a reason. I would rather be alive and live a hrad life and keep learning than to be dead and experience nothing. A new day is better than no days and I look forward to speaking with you everyday.

Mara said...

Glad to know that you feel better now. I agree with Lateralus, "a new day is better than no days" and I also have been so close to jumping off a roof and get hit by cars on the highway. But I'm still here, looking forward to a much better future. Hopeful.

Anny said...

I am happy to know that you are felling much better.
I am bipolar too, Jenni. 9 years ago, I want to kill my self. But I'm afraid. I'm back to HIS love and continue my life until now.
God Bless U

fourluvz said...

Thanks for replying to my blog! I am very grateful and hope that you will come back!

FluxApex said...

You are very welcome! I hope you are feeling well today.